“Don’t ever wonder because you deserve the best. Once you reach the top, you’ll never question why you left.”
– John Legend
Love comes in many different forms, and that love varies from person to person. Giving away love has always seemed easy to me, and I am sure there are others who would agree. Caring for other people has always come naturally to me. I never have a problem helping someone who asks for help. I love making people smile, making people feel good about themselves; however, I am not as sure of myself when it comes to accepting the care and love given to me in return.
I have always given people a large piece of my heart, and I have always wondered why when I give my whole heart, it never seems to work out. For the longest time I asked myself why giving someone your everything is not enough sometimes. I struggle with letting things go and moving on, and sometimes find myself in a repeating cycle of the highest high to the lowest low. Multiple times I have been asked by friends why I give my heart to people who treat me wrong, or who don't deserve me, and then push away the people who are really, actually there for me. I have asked myself why relationships work for everyone around me, but never for me. Up until now, I have never been able to answer those questions until I heard someone's answer loud and clear.
This quote hit me like a brick, but it also took some time to realize the truth in these words. No matter how I present myself, no matter what other people might think I deserve, ultimately what I deserve is up to me. If I do not think I deserve someone, I walk away. Consequently, if I do not think I deserve to be treated the way I am, the only thing that keeps me from walking away is myself. If I want to change the way I have been treated in the past, the only person I can change is myself.
"We’re sad when we think we have the right to be sad. We’re angry when we think we have the right to be angry. So why don’t we love, when we think we have the right to be loved?"
I never put very much thought into what exactly I do and do not deserve, but after thinking a lot about how we accept the love we think we deserve, I have realized that the love I deserve is more than what I have been willing to settle for in the past, and this applies to all kinds of love. I am sure that I am not the only one that feels this way, and this goes out to everyone that has ever felt the way I have. Anyone who has felt heartbroken from trying over and over again to get people to accept your love the way you accept theirs. No one, no matter what they have done, deserve to be in any kind of demeaning or degrading relationship. Admitting that you deserve better is okay. It is okay to walk away from someone that only brings you heartbreak. Do not settle just because you do not think you can do better or deserve better.
"We are imperfect beings, we are human. But our imperfections are neither reasons to stay, nor leave. We can always do better for others, and for ourselves. Allow those around you to love you, and love those who surround you. Do not settle for less, and do not cut yourself short because at the end of the day, the love we accept is the love we think we deserve."
