Sunday, February 17, 2013

stepping forward.

This time last year, I knew exactly what I wanted. I had goals, ambitions, and a clear direction of where I was going. Over the last few months, remembering what that feeling felt like has been nearly impossible, not to mention I have not even been sure of what I want. Making a trip home always seems to help me clear my head and figure some things out. I am lucky to have friends that remind me of the potential I have, and the person that I am when I am with them.

Something that has been very unsettling to me is the fact that I do not even feel like myself in the town away from home. Because of this, I have finally found a reason to step forward and make a goal. For the first time in a while, I actually want something. I want to be able to be the happy, silly, sarcastic girl that is not afraid to be a friend and speak what is on my mind. I feel like I have not been able to be that way since the day I moved to St. George. I think I have been scared to because I know that nothing could possibly replace the friends and relationships I have back home, and it has just taken some time to realize that they are always going to be there whether I meet new people I can be myself with or not. So, here goes the first goal I have had in a long time: to be the strong, happy girl I was able to be before I left, and to move out of this rut I have dug myself into.

Live the life you want to live. Be the person you want to remember. Make decisions, make mistakes. & if you fall, at least you tried.