flaws.

Everyone seems to be in love with the idea of having someone love them, flaws and all. However, lately I have noticed that the norm is not seeing past others' flaws, but rather to point them out and use them as ammunition to make ourselves feel better about our own flaws. Flaws are the only thing that anyone seems to notice. No one wants to hear about the accomplishments of others anymore. People do not take the time to see what makes a person great, we would all rather figure out what makes a person not so great. This thought process is a sickening phase that needs to stop. 

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that."

- Martin Luther King Jr.

I do not think very many people realize how much of a difference saying, "Wow, you did a really good job with that" makes in someone's day. We have been programmed to think that good results will come from criticizing each other and pointing out the flaws, rather than focusing on the positive aspects. This concept is so simple that many people have probably been familiar with it since they were kids. Positive results will not come from negative feedback. We have forgotten the simple fact that everyone has flaws, ourselves included. For some reason, so many people seem to have the thought that if we point out everyone else's mistakes and hardships, our own problems will fly out the door. I do not even know how many times a day I see people being criticized for the smallest flaws, while their large accomplishments go completely unnoticed.

No wonder everyone is so exhausted. No wonder motivation is lost. No wonder nothing in school and work places is ever exemplary. We have lost our eye for the good that people produce every day. The focus on flaws takes away the appearance of so many better things that we should be focusing on.

My day is so much more productive and so much better when I have at least one person who appreciates the work and dedication that people have every day. They say that "we are our own, worst critics." Since that is the case, imagine how hard accepting your own flaws becomes, when many of the messages we get from others are all about flaws. I know my flaws were so much easier for me to overcome when positive words from others were more prominent. 

If everyone wants others to love them, flaws and all, how can anyone expect this when the main focus is on flaws to begin with?

moments of impact.

Because of the buzz of the release of "The Vow," I ended up watching the movie twice with different sets of friends. Something that really stuck out to me about that movie was Leo's theory:

"My theory is about moments, moments of impact. My theory is that these moments of impact, these flashes of high intensity that completely turn our lives upside down actually end up defining who we are. The thing is each one of us is the sum total of every moment that we’ve ever experienced with all the people we’ve ever known. And it’s these moments that become our history. Like our own personal greatest hits of memories that we play and replay in our minds over and over again."

As various events and experiences have been unfolding in my life, my mind keeps wandering to this theory of moments of impact. These moments appear in many different forms. They bring happiness, sadness, laughter, and satisfaction. The outcome of these moments is not easily predicted, and even when we think we know the outcome, the moment turns in a direction we never expected. A direction that, in the end, shows us a little bit more of the craziness that is life.

Recently, my moment of impact has been about small successes. Successes that are so satisfying, that even after a thousand fails, these little successes make everything completely worth it. Giving something/someone everything you have to give, and not seeing results becomes frustrating and heartbreaking; sometimes makes it hard to see a point in trying any longer. But then, when we least expect it, there is a breakthrough, a moment of impact. A moment that brings a realization that is just enough to keep trying. To keep giving everything your very best shot, even if it means failure.

These small moments, breakthroughs, bring the greatest joy. The little moments that many people overlook because we focus too much on the big things. There is no greater pleasure in my life than knowing that giving my very best can/will bring those small successes, those moments of impact.

"Life doesn't reciprocate. Everything is out of balance, and that's what makes it so stable and yet, so unstable at the same time. It isn't important what the world gives and does to you. What matters is what you do in return."

change.

Change:
1. n. to become different, altered, or modified
2. v. to transform

Change is an interesting aspect of our lives... some people are afraid of change, some embrace it, & some just take it as it comes. The funny thing is, our lives are constantly changing, transforming, evolving, and shaping themselves, and most of the time we don't even notice. Sometimes these little transformations happen fast, other times they happen slow, and sometimes we are so ready for those changes that we feel as though they are just around the corner.

Whether we're ready for it or not, so many things in our lives will always be changing; to shape us, push us to our limits, force us out of our comfort zones, and make us happier in the long run. Changes do not come to hurt us, hinder our abilities, or take away the very things that bring happiness. Overall, these changes are just a stepping stone that show us our true potential for everything that lies ahead.