finding my own way.

St. George is slowly starting to feel more comfortable to me. Finding my way around the campus and town, getting a job, and talking with the roommates has definitely helped. At first, I thought all five of the roommates were completely composed and collected about this whole moving away thing, but last night I learned that we have all been struggling with not feeling at home. Knowing that alone, helped immensely. I know that if anything bad ever happens, my friends back home will always be there for me, and I have a job that will guarantee that I have breaks off the same time school does so I can go home during those times.

I know it is still going to be very hard at times, but right now I feel like I can make this work. Somehow I will figure out how to balance school, work, fitness, and friends; all the while making these next few years be the times where I have some of my favorite memories, my moments of impact. It is always scary to step so far out of my comfort zone that I immediately want to turn around and go back home, but giant steps like these are so important if any progress is to be made. I am just glad to say that I took a risk and jumped, even when I feel like running straight home sometimes. It is only the beginning of this journey, but I know in the long run it will be what is best for me.

moving out.

I never thought I would be so scared to move out. The reality of it hit me last night when I was trying to fall asleep. It is so weird to me that I am leaving the town I was born in and the house I grew up in. I have so many mixed emotions for this. I am scared, excited, happy, and sad all at the same time. Leaving my parent's house where the majority of things are taken for granted makes me a little nervous. Leaving my best friends freaks me out more than I would like to admit, because I am not sure how I will find people as genuine as they are, who will be there for me in the way that they are.

However, I know it is time to go. As much as I want to run back inside my house and live there until I am thirty, I know I need to do this. To learn for myself how much I have taken things for granted, and to figure out who I am and become the person that I want to be. I can not believe it is already time for me to go to college and decide what to do with the rest of my life. It seems like just yesterday I was sitting around wishing it was time for this, and now it has hit me like a brick. The whole thing became more real when I started pulling out the packing boxes and stripping my room. I feel pretty unsure of myself, so I guess I am just going to jump into this, full steam ahead, and give it my best. Wish me luck! :)